Confessions of a Clueless Hockey Mom

Listen, I may not know what “offside” actually means (is it about skating too fast? Too slow? The vibe of the game?), but you’ll find me rink-side, yelling “SKATE!” like my life depends on it. With three kids of my six kids living their best ice lives—two hustling skaters and one fearless goalie who clearly has zero concept of self-preservation—I’m here for it all. Do I understand why the whistle blows half the time? Nope. But do I cheer like a banshee every time my kid even looks at the puck? You bet I do. It’s not about knowing the rules; it’s about showing up, braving the smell of hockey gear (seriously, why does it reek like that?!), and loving every chaotic minute of it.

Now, let’s talk about the real MVP—me, the hockey mom, armed with caffeine in one hand and a sassy tumbler from Harlow Boutique in the other. My kids may be obsessed with hockey, but I’m equally obsessed with repping my rink side pride. Whether it’s a cozy pillow that screams “Hockey Mom Nap Headquarters” or a mug that declares “I’m Only Here for the Snacks and My Goalie,” I’ve got your back. Sure, I might be clueless, but I show up, I cheer, and I represent. So, if you’re as passionate about supporting your players (and looking fabulous doing it), head over to www.HarlowBoutique.ca. Hockey moms, unite!

And let’s be real for a second—if you’ve ever wrangled six kids into a freezing cold arena while hauling a bag the size of a small car, you deserve a little recognition (and probably a medal). So while my kids are out there chasing their hockey dreams, I’m living mine: surviving another season with my sanity (mostly) intact. Oh, and can we talk about the cowbells and those ear-piercing air horns? Who are you, and why can’t you just cheer like a normal human instead of sounding like a runaway freight train? Seriously, every time one of those horns goes off, I lose three years off my life.

But you know what? It’s all worth it because being a hockey mom isn’t about knowing every rule or understanding every play. It’s about showing up, cheering on your little rockstar, and letting them know you’re their biggest fan—clueless or not. So grab that coffee, slap on that Hockey Mom shirt, and own your spot in the stands. Because at the end of the day, all that matters is that you’re there. See you at the rink!